


anyone else

by prettyeyes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends to... friends, One Sided Attraction, just angst and heartbreak and desperation and all kind of sad shit all of changkyun stans are into
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 11:24:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21014972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyeyes/pseuds/prettyeyes
Summary: "and no matter how far and wide i roam, you're the only one that i'll ever know" // prompt: you fall for your best friend





	anyone else

**Author's Note:**

> not proofread, a mess, first thing i've written in probably 4 years, got a vocabulary of preschooler. sorry.

the feelings were devouring your already cut open heart, as if it was a main dish at the royal dinner. thousands of forks and knives sinking in the ruined flesh of your heart, taking small bits and pieces out and leaving the plate empty and bloody as regret and pain smears the fine porcelain in the most tragic and beautiful way.  
never have you ever thought you would be feeling this way, especially after hearing the person you grew the warmest and softest feelings for, over the past couple of years, say the three words that meant everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.

"i love you. i think i really am in love with you," your best friend muses in a tone you've never heard him talk in before. in four years that you've known him, four years of seeing him almost every day, having him so close that the warmth of his body keeps lingering on your skin even after he leaves your late night studying sessions; you have never heard him say something in such delicate way, as if he was afraid to even breathe in your direction, scared of you suddenly disappearing from his sight, as if he's dreaming and the dream is too good to be real.

you breathe in, then out. his soft gaze is locked on your eyes, trying to study your face. you look anywhere but him. what if you tell him that you're not interested? what if you say that it's ridiculous and that he's a fool for even thinking about confessing? what would happen if you told him that you're not even sorry for not feeling the same way and that you think you shouldn't talk anymore because it'll be too awkward between of you two? a rush of horrible selfish thoughts runs through your mind, making you feel even worse than before. your cheeks heat up at the thought of making your best friend, the person you've fallen for so deeply, heartbroken just like that. of course you won't do it. of course, instead of making him worry with your excellent worst case scenario option, you finally have enough strength to look at his face, returning a little smile in response.

"do you want to go on a date with me? maybe this friday, after the classes? what do you say?" his voice gets even quieter and softer than before, but for some reason you can feel it piercing through your ears like he just screamed straight in your face.

"yes, i would love to." a shaken breath leaves your lips, and you use the last bits of energy in your body to smile brightly at him. his hand almost twitches when he moves it to hold yours, interlacing your fingers and squeezing it so lightly that it feels like feather and summer wind against your palm.

"see, this is not scary at all. just be honest and say what you feel at that very moment." you tell him, as his hand leaves yours and a wide grin spreads across his face, making your heart pump and clench even harder. His pretty warm eyes light up with sparkles and you swear that not even the polar star is able to shine this brightly.

"maybe you're right. i mean, what's the worst thing she's going to say? no? i can live with a rejection." changkyun replies, his voice adorned with excitement and almost confidence. "i will do it. i can do it. i can do it, right, baby?"

"you can!" enthusiasm in your voice is so fake that it's almost impossible to ignore, but changkyun is in bliss, the euphoric feeling radiates through his face and skin, making him look even more beautiful than before.

"thank you for letting me do this. now that i kind of practiced it, i feel better about this whole thing. it's not as scary as it felt before."

"happy to hear it," you nod and it feels like your whole body is on fire, tears threatening to start rolling down your face. "just go for it. who doesn't want to have someone like you?"

"yeaaaah, right," he laughs wholeheartedly, throwing head to the back, giving you an opportunity to appreciate how gorgeously his chin and neck sculpted. pinkish lights of the dying sunset dance on his skin, and he lets them decorate his features with the most beautiful swirls and patterns that not even the greatest artist could create.

"thank you, really. i don't know what i would do without a friend like you."  
a friend.  
just a friend who is silly and selfish enough to let themself fall for someone who is always there, but so out of reach.  
that's what you will ever be.

  
"you know you're always welcome."  
"yeah."  
"yeah.  
"i better start going. her class finishes soon. gotta be waiting right behind the door."  
"good luck." you look up at him, as his frame separates from your embrace, but this time his warmth slowly leaving you as he goes farther away.

  
"thanks, baby." and with that, changkyun is gone from your sight, and so is gone your heart, now wrenched into a unreconstructible mess.


End file.
